Webcam
by LovexAndxEdelweiss
Summary: Dave and John test the newest Pesterchum app, VIDEO CHAT. Dave has a bit of an ulterior motive. Dear readers, you choose the progress of the story via commands left in the comments! Have fun! - Pre-Sburb, otherwise canon universe.
1. Introduce Yourself

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are PRETTY MUCH A GENIUS. With a combination of PERSONAL CHARM and a TECHNICAL SKILL, you have convinced your BEST BRO that your webcam is broken, but this isn't going to stop the two of you from testing out the feature released in Pesterchum's latest update package, VIDEO CHAT.

== Stop using this obnoxious narrative style.

Roger. Your name is Dave Strider, 12-going-on-13, with side swept dirty blonde hair and pale skin that doesn't seem natural for the amount of time you spend out in the Texan sun strifing with your older brother, though that sun has left you with a healthy dusting of freckles across your cheeks and shoulders. You've locked yourself in your bedroom after an extremely thorough sweep with your anti-bro radar (your eyes) and are currently sitting pretty in front of your computer, grinning cheekily into the headset since you're absolutely sure no one can see it. There is a piece of black felt taped to the front of your webcam, which you put there before hooking up with John and making many convincing frustrated-sounding noises as you 'tried to get it to work'. Though you fancy yourself somewhat of a gear-head, this was simply beyond your fantastic skills.

Taking up the entirety of your computer screen is a slightly fuzzy image of your best bro and perhaps lately somewhat the object of your small ironic crush, John Egbert. So, what next?

* * *

I'm trying out a new style and a new fandom to get me back into the swing of things! Exciting~

So, here's how this works. You comment with a command, and I'll choose out of what I get to write the next few paragraphs. It's all going to be from Dave's POV, because my friend is writing one from John's. If she's nice, she'll let me post it up as a companion fic.

Please remember this will be DaveJohn and nsfw eventually!


	2. Flirt Shamelessly

== Flirt shamelessly.

You can do that. Very well, in fact, if not subtly because after all, most importantly, your best bro is strictly 'no homo'. You're not trying to scare him off or anything, that would suck in the worst ways. You lean back in your desk chair, hands behind your head.

"I'm not feeling the weeping, John. It's almost like you don't even mind missing out on all this hot Strider ass."

His dorky smile fills the screen and you almost reach out to touch his face on the monitor - no Dave, das so gay. Your hand goes back to its previous position on your straw-colored head. And stays there. Seriously, petting the monitor? Creepy.

"Dave, I'm so upset! I'm crying, seriously! Sobbing! What ever will I do without the glorious image of Strider ass to lighten my dark, lonely nights!" He puts his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with fake sobs (and probably true laughter). After a moment it pops back up though, and he looks like he's having a revelation. "Wait!"

"John no-"

"I DO have a glorious image of Strider ass!"

"John don't you da-"

He grins and pulls down a polaroid that he apparently had taped up next to his computer (that's kind of flattering, you guess?) and waves it at his screen, too jerkily for you to see. Unfortunately, you already know what it is. Your Bro snuck it in the package you sent him last Christmas, to your everlasting humiliation. All your dreams having the greatest first impression…

He holds it still next to his face and it settles enough for the camera to pick it up, and there you go – you're staring at your shame all over. It's a picture of you taken when you were around 4 or something. You'd been standing with your back to the camera, but you guessed Bro must have called you because your head is turned to look back over your shoulder. You're wearing your pointy anime shades. One little hand is placed rather sassily on your hip, the other holds the sippy cup full of apple juice in your mouth. And of course, you're butt naked. You have no idea why Bro would ever let a naked 4 year old stand on the edge of a roof. Shit's dangerous as fuck.

The picture is really embarrassing oh my god Bro why would you ever do this to a person seriously and John is just sitting there laughing at you. You groan piteously and cover your face. "John, why would you even keep that."

"Aw Dave, I think it's cute! You look so adorable with your little sippy cup and your shades."

Respond?

* * *

Thank you, BlOo KiSsEs!


	3. 2X Update Combo!

== Ask John if he'd like an updated photo of dat fine Strider ass.

"If you think that's cute, you should see it now. Butt so cute got all the ladies tripping over themselves for a peek of these sweet cheeks." You're only half joking. You really do have a nice ass. Strider genes. Also, Strider jeans. Both do wonders for the development of your rump.

John dissolves into giggles for a solid minute, finally stopping and lifting his glasses to the top of his head before wiping a stray tear out of his eye. "Oh my god, Daaaave…"

You feel a little affronted. "What, don't believe me? Egbert, this ass is choice. It's a shame this cam ain't working so you could watch me twerk it. But maybe it's good it doesn't, wouldn't want you to drool all over your keyboard and break something."

He's having a hard time responding to you, burying his face in his arms to smother his laughter. You catch yourself smiling fondly at the sight before you remind yourself that Striders don't get all mushy and indifference settles back over your features.

You really, really like talking to John. And you're a little tempted to fiddle around with your computer for a minute to give yourself an excuse to magically 'fix' your webcam and just really chat with him. But no. You've been tossing and turning in your bed about this all week. Tossing, turning, and less savory things. You wonder vaguely if John, too, has been waking up in the middle of the night with a pool of heat between his legs and the dream of a kiss on his lips. Thinking about it causes your face to heat up and you clear your throat, which causes John to roll his head towards the screen, even though there's nothing there for him to look at.

"I believe you, Dave." He finally responds. "But you know I'd always love to get pictures of my friends! Even if it is just their backsides. So sure, get fancy with your camera. Send me so many pictures of your butt that my dad will wonder what kinda operation I'm running in here." His blue eyes are sparkling (you imagine, because shit, no way his camera is that quality) and his lips are curled up in a mischievous smile. God. Fuck. You just want to grab his face and… kiss, you guess. A lot. A lot of kissing.

You squirm a little in your chair before responding. "Yeah, okay. That sounds all well and good for you, but what am I getting out of it? This ain't a free show, bro."

He tilts his head as he thinks. Fuck that's cute. "Hmm… I don't know, I'm not really good at drawing or photography. What do you want?"

== Demand compensation in the form of equally compromising pictures.

"The way I see it, if I'm sending YOU pictures of MY butt… See where I'm going with this?" You can't tell for sure, but you think he's blushing a little. His ears look pink.

"I don't have a camera! Why do you wanna see my ass anyways? It's not great. Just a normal butt." He stands up and turns away from the camera, shaking his rear at the camera for a moment. "See? Just regular." He manages to get himself twisted in his headphone cord and struggles with it for a moment, which is good.

Because you feel like you've just been punched in the stomach. In a good way. As if there was a good way to- look, he took your breath away okay let's not get crazy technical about this. In any case, sudden death by headset mutiny distracts him from your suspicious silence and by the time he huffs in victory and settles back in his chair, you're pretty sure you can talk without making an idiot out of yourself.

Quick, what do you say?

* * *

== Ask John if he'd like an updated photo of dat fine Strider ass. 3 RandomHyuuga [FFN]

== Demand compensation in the form of equally compromising pictures. 3 Johndave1234 [AO3]

To the person who wrote me pretty much an entire chapter worth of a reply on FFN, wow! Thanks! Unfortunately I'm taking it in another direction, but that was a really cute idea.


	4. Bleat!

== BLEAT LIKE A GOAT AND POST A LINK TO GAY PORN.

Okay, you're pretty shell shocked. But not THAT shell shocked. Besides, the only link you have on hand is your bro's weird smuttet fetish site and if there was ever a way to kill a young boy's budding erection it was jutting, impudent smuppet ass. That idea fades as fast as it occurred to you – or it would have, if it had ever occurred to you in the first place. Which it didn't.

== Inform him that you're impressed with his unparalleled headphone-taming skills.

He swats the now-untangled cord away from his person with such ferocity that you can't help but allow a small chuckle to escape. You lean towards the camera as he sits down and intone 'finish him' into your mic, to which you receive a gratuitous eyeroll.

"Don't sass me Dave. It's your fault I got tangled, you made me stand up."

"Yes, fantastic logic, John. Let's blame the poor innocent best friend sitting miles away for tricking you into standing up and then turning your headphones into a hungry anaconda." Speaking of anacondas. Your cheek drops to your palm and your usual bored expression doesn't so much as flicker, even as you slowly slide your palm between your thighs and press experimentally against the slight bulge in your jeans.

"Shush Dave, I can blame you if I want. Man, homework sucks. My art teacher gave us a two page essay, like, what? It's art, not English!" John is playing with his pen now, his head tilted downwards at the desk in front of him. You think that it feels a little less weird this way, when he's not looking at you. Not that you're embarrassed! You have a pretty nice view of the curve of John's neck and shoulder and collarbone, and you focus on that as you start to rub yourself slowly, your breath hitching slightly in a way you hope is unnoticeable through John's shitty headphones.

Your own headphones are high quality, hijacked from Bro's DJ equipment, and you praise the heavens for your Bro's eccentric hobbies as you revel in the sound of Egbert stifling a yawn against the back of his hand. Your thighs part a little for easier access.

You realize you haven't said anything in minute or two and John's gonna get suspicious if you don't speak up. Hopefully, your voice isn't too breathy yet (a habit you've discovered that you despise in every way, and yet are unable to work around) so you figure you should get on that. What was he talking about, art?

* * *

== BLEAT LIKE A GOAT AND POST A LINK TO GAY PORN. 3 Anon [FFN]

== Inform him that you're impressed with his unparalleled headphone-taming skills. 3 RabidWeezul [AO3]

It seems easier to do two at a time so that's probably how it's gonna go from now on! Thanks for the input, guys!

PS wow a lot of the responses I got made me laugh and it was almost too hard choosing one, I really liked all of them!


End file.
